Something that I have been reading about that rings so true in my heart is the importance of having a father and mother be involved in the home. This is shown through many different studies and in many different ways. First of all in families that only have one parent in the home it is a lot harder for the family to be able to function properly. This is because the one parent is trying so hard to take care of their kids financially that they are working most of the time, without anyone in the home for the kdis. This means that the kids will come home from school and not be able to have someone there to ask them about their day, or to make sure that they are okay. This leads to too much free time for the kids meaning that they are not always making wise choices. Sometimes this even makes kids want attention. The sad truth is that for some kids negative attention seems better to them then no attention, Meaning that they may act out because they want to get the attention from their parents. Sometimes this means that they want to act out so that their parent tries to reach out to them in concern. The best way for children to progress and feel loved is when both parents are unified, which allows there to be the father working with the mother taking care of them. This creates an atmosphere of protection and care where the children feel loved.
There are circumstances in which couples are from different ethnicity backgrounds in which many cases they felt that they had strong connections with each other. That they weren't looking to find a bi-racial relationship but that was how it turned out, that they feel in love (Marriage and Family, the quest for intimacy- Jeanette Lauer). There was also studies done about these relationships in which later problems arose because of the differences. I believe that two people who are really willing to commit and love each other can make it work, regardless of ethnicity. Yet I have noticed in these studies done that in many cases it did make the marriage more difficult because of the differences. It seemed though that certain ethnicities worked well with others. In some cases asian ladies have good relationships with americans or other cultures where the man may not be necessarily as much in charge. Also come cultures did well even if they were living in the united states, regardless of difficulties of prejudice issues that may have arisen. For example Asian american families have done very well because their parents have encouraged them to do well in school, as well as to be obedient and respectful.
Also it was very interesting to talk about the importance of the husband and wife to put their marriage first in all things, that they are working on strengthening their marriage. Many time husbands become to be less involved in their families because they are working so hard to provide. Then the mom is at home worrying about the stresses of life, which is difficult if he has work that takes him far from home. It is important for them to be able to re-connect and strengthen that relationship. recently my fiance and I were apart for 2 weeks while he was singing for the school's collegiate singers group while they were on tour. Having him be far away was very difficult and was probably some of the hardets weeks of my life. Then he came back for a week which was wonderful. But then was leaving again for 3 months. That first week was so difficult. It had already been so hard for me having him gone and then to have him gone again was even worse because we were planning for our wedding and I felt overwhelmed in needing to do it all alone. Then in our marriage and family class we discussed the importance of having the couple be able to connect with each other and be there for each other. So then I asked the question about the couples that Have to be apart in which it was explained to me that sure it can be "possible" for couples to basically live apart, that they can make it work but it is very difficult. That it was actually advised against. Because then the couple grows apart, and they can start relying on other people for comfort or help. (which makes sense because he being far away couldn't hold me when I was crying or worried- and in fact every time he left my eyes became bloodshot and wouldn't clear up, and I began to just go through my days focusing on the task at hand, trying not to feel because that would make it harder). Then our professor (Br. Williams) mentioned that "you are working to build a marriage, not finance". And it hit me really hard because that is what marriage is for, that you have someone you love and care about and that you can be there for each other and lean on each other, and be able to trust them in all things.
Hearing these things made me desperately want my fiance to come back from where we was going to be for the next few months but I knew I couldn't ask for that because he needed to be there and needed to work. I did feel strongly though that it was important for couples to be able to be close to each other to give that support. And I had been worrying about it being difficult to be apart until the couple days before our wedding.
Right after that class I checked my phone and my fiance had mentioned that maybe there WAS a chance that he could come back.
I was So hopeful that this could be possible.
He then let me know that he had felt an impression by the spirit that I had been having a hard time, and I confirmed that I had. He then said he would come back and that he would never leave again.
The next day he was in a car on his way back to me, he was able to rent an apartment close to me, and has a job interview for a place in town.
Him coming back was the most wonderful experience ever.
It strengthened our relationship, and my health improved (and my eyes cleared up).
It helped me to see how important it really was for couples to be able to be together and to give that support and care. Which confirmed what I already knew about the importance of married couples being able to give that time and attention to each other.
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