Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Maintaining a strong marriage to prevent the disiruption of the family

Its so crucial in a marriage to maintain communication. So many things are left unspoken that start to build up. With both parties feeling like their needs are not being met without making sure to accurately express them in a positive way to each other.
I think many communication problems can be avoided if partners focus on how something caused them to "feel" instead of expressing anger which can confuse their spouse and cause them to be defensive. It is also important to express things in an uplifting way, with an increase of love.
Such as -I love and adore that you are so sweet to want to help with the dishes, right now I really just want to be able to relax with you and then we can do the dishes later,
"I want to be able to provide and support you and our kids and that is why I feel like I'm not fulfilling my role when you feel the need to get a job"
In both circumstances the spouse is showing that the root of their concern is love for their spouse, this can soften the discussions and allow their partner to know that their desires is to strengthen their relationship.
It is really important to decide together in all things. This way both parties feel that their desires were heard and that they were able to reach a conclusion together. This can prevent having misunderstandings of why something happened, or feeling left out from the decision process.
It is also really important to discuss and reach a consensus about an issue involving their child, this way the child doesn't try to sneakily get their way by turning to a different parent once another parent has already said no. My father commonly would question "has your mom answered?" or he would simply refer us back to her.

The most effective and strong family structure is when biological father and mother are legally married and taking care of their children. There are many ways to strengthen a family and maintain relationships. Everything should be done to prevent against divorce because it is difficult and painful for everyone involved. And more often than not it doesn't solve the problem. Also in many cases the marriage could have been saved. Studies have shown that people who asked for a divorce yet had to wait 5 years ended up having a strong and stable marriage. Many times there are increased stresses because of work, school, finances, or children which can increase in marital dispute. Yet it is important to work together and realize the issue is with a problem and not with each other.

There are also countless difficulties that may occur in remarried families, therefore it is important to focus on strengthening your marriage and making it work. Unless there is problems involving physical or emotional abuse and infidelity that are not going to improve. There may be times when these are fixed, but when it is detrimental to your well being than it is important to get help and to decide on what is best for the safety of yourself and your children

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