Friday, July 3, 2015

Fathers and their importance in the home

 While studying on the importance of fathers in helping children I have recognized 5 specific points in which fathers significantly benefit their children. An involved loving father helps his children with education outcomes, emotional stability, social behaviors, personal safety and motor development.
Information on Fatherhood from articles and studies
In the study that was done about the importance of fathers as shown in the child welfare document on fatherhood it specifically states the importance of fathers and the natural benefits that are included academically for the child. It states that when fathers are more involved and caring with their children then they generally do better academically. This occurs partly because fathers tend to play with their infants more often than mothers do. This helps stimulate an infant’s mind and ultimately when the father is more playfully involved with their child than their children tend to have higher IQ’s as well as other heightened abilities cognitively and linguistically. The study further states that young toddlers who have very involved fathers do better on academic readiness levels when they first start school. This is partly because fathers generally encourage children more in achievement whereas mothers focus more on nurturing.
Children who have involved fathers are also more emotionally stable and secure. They become more confident in their ability to explore the world around them because fathers tend to encourage their children to explore and understand their surroundings. When fathers are more involved children are also more emotionally secure in the sense that they learn how to regulate their feelings through the playful interactions they are involved in with their father. Many times the act of rough housing with their father leads them to be able to learn how to handle and control aggressive behavior and to be in control of their emotions in general. A study done on children showed that children who had solid relationships with their fathers had less cases of depression, disruptive behavior and were more likely to be social.
In general fathers help children have positive social behaviors because fathers do help children gain a sense of confidence and security. In the study that was done as stated in the Child welfare study on fatherhood also showed that children with involved fathers were more likely to have good friends because they were more likely to avoid drugs, violence and other behavior that would be labeled as delinquent behavior. In an article on the importance of fathers posted on the website of it explained also that girls with a loving involved father were more able to “form positive opinions of men, and be able to relate to them”. It is also proven that daughters who have a strong fatherly figure in the home who is trusting, loving and involved are more able to build strong relationships and find it easier to trust men, and therefore socially are better off in that sense as well.
When children are blessed with having an involved father in the home they are less likely to experience maltreatment. Biological fathers are statistically less likely to use forms of abuse with their children as opposed to other unrelated men living in the same home as children. Also in the article about “the importance of fathers in the healthy development of children” it states that father involvement decreased the amount of child neglect in the home. In some cases biologically related fathers do engage in abuse in the home generally if they are poverty stricken, yet the occurrences are smaller with involved caring fathers, especially when they avoid alcohol and have a solid job.
Fathers also increase a child’s ability to have good motor development. This is also due to the fact that fathers tend to be more playful and physically active with their children. In an article written by William Scott and Amy De La Hunt on the important role of father’s it stated that “six-month olds whose fathers are involved in their care score higher on tests of motor development. Later in life fathers are also more generally encouraging their children to participate in sports as they actively are involved in teaching them new skills to master.
My experiences with my Father
My Father has played such a crucial as well as immensely beneficial role in my life. My father has always been involved with me in my life. He was always loving and caring. When my father would come home from work he would be excited to see us, and would make sure to always ask each of us six kids, including my mom, what the best part of our day was. My father is a very loving and patient man, he is a hard worker and does everything for my family. I can fondly remember my father coming home and bringing my father to go and do activities. I remember going to the beach with my dad as he would teach me to surf, I remember my father bringing my siblings and I to this place called goat island where we played all day. My father always felt it was important to be able to do fun activities as a family, we would jump on the trampoline, go to scrambling hills, play tennis, play catch, throw a Frisbee and various other activities. My father also valued hard work and wanted us to be able to learn new skills. My father taught my siblings and I how to lay tile, put in grout, texture the walls, paint walls as well as cut in on the edges, put in a sink, put in laminate flooring, fix problems in the home and numerous other activities. Because of this it taught me a sense of self fulfillment. I always admired that my dad would learn how to fix something rather than simply paying someone. This taught me the value and importance of learning how to accomplish a task. My father was also a supporter of doing well in school. He wanted us to do our best. If I came home with grades my father would always ask if I did my best and that was what was important to him. He focused on effort put forth and not grades. One time I was taking his accounting class and I was doing my very best to learn the material, to do well, and at the same time connect more with my father. I studied really hard for a test and got a good grade, but it wasn’t as high as I had wanted. When I told my father he exclaimed that I must’ve worked really hard and that it was great. Then he told me something that made me feel completely loved. He said, when referring to a test for his class, that even if I had bombed the test he would’ve been proud of me. My dad really is a true father. He is incredible and is such a blessing in my life. Because of him I knew what type of man I wanted to look for that would be sweet, kind, funny, hardworking, loyal, a good father, a best friend, and a righteous man. Because of his example I am able to trust others and build strong relationships. I am also now engaged to a wonderful man that I also trust with all my heart, and I know that because of my father’s involvement in my life I was able to build that secure relationship.

Taking an active role to ensure father involvement
I believe that I have already taken an active role in ensuring that my children will have an involved father in the home. The active role I took in this was that I first sought out a righteous young man. I believed that it was important for me to marry someone who would not only be sweet to me, but would be a loving father. Because of it I focused on continuing going on dates only with people who were positive and uplifting. I wanted my children to grow up in a positive home and therefore I am attracted to men who are generally happy. I then wanted to make sure that I found someone who was nice and friendly. I figured that I wanted a husband who would be loving and supportive and that my children deserved to have a father who would be encouraging to them. I also learned because of my father’s example of the importance of hardwork. Therefore it was instilled in me the importance of hardworking verses wealthy. I knew that if I found someone who was willing to work hard that he would be able to take care of our family, and that he would teach our children to work well. I also know that because I was actively searching for a righteous man to marry that I was blessed to find my fiancé.
Through dating and courtship with him I constantly recognize the positive attributes that he has and how because of it he will be an involved loving father to our future children. I have seen how loving and sweet he is around his nephew and niece and I loved how excited he was to be involved in every aspect of their lives. When he met my eight year old sister he also adored her and was supportive of her. Something I loved and appreciated was that when I was encouraging my sister not to go into a store by herself because of danger, my fiancé Kyrk supported me in that decision and also encouraged my little sister. I saw through this experience and others similar to it that he will be an involved protective father.
 I also was aware of the way he acted towards his mother because that is a way that he will act towards our children and myself. I was very pleased to notice that he adores and respects his mother. Whenever we speak of his mother he is loving and positive because he is so grateful for her. I know that because of this he will continue to treat me well. I feel that this was a major way that I was able to actively make sure that my children and an actively engaged father. Because it is a blessing to children to have a loving and caring father and to see the way he lovingly treats their mother.
I also will continue to make decisions with him, which will be a blessing to our children o be able to have consistency in the home. We will make sure to speak kindly to each other and to our children. And he will also in the future work hours that are beneficial for our family. He has talked about how he wants to be involved in every aspect of our family. He wants to help with taking care of them and to discipline in love. Therefore I feel that as I involve him in the day to day aspects of our lives then it will encourage the desire he already has to be an involved father.
I will also continue to be supportive of him in being the head of the home. I know that this will mean that he will lead our family in activities, scriptures, prayer and discussion. I will let him know about the events that happen in our children’s lives and seek for his guidance in all things. I believe that these are some of the many ways I will take an active role in encouraging father involvement, Specifically in what I am doing now which is dating and preparing to marry a man who does plan on being loving and involved, and who will put God first, and then our family.

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