Tuesday, July 21, 2015

10 principles

10 principles of the Importance of family relationships-
Kelsey Kimball (Taylor)

Family is stronger together-
Family is stronger when they rely on each other. Father and mother both have an important role in the family to take care of their children. It is crucial for them to love and care for each other as well as for their children. With both parents in the home it is easier for children to feel safe and secure. When knowing that their parents love each other it will bring peace of mind to a child. It is also very important to have both father and mother because they both have important and crucial roles in the family. With the father in the home there is protection from outside dangers as well as the safety that comes from having a home and food. With a mother there is the compassion and care that comes from a caring mother with clean clothes and prepared food. I believe that they have opposite and equal roles that help children be taken care of completely.
Born that way?
There has been confusion in the world about the gender roles. Yet Heavenly father created Adam and eve to be husband and wife. This means that he created a man to love and take care of a woman, and woman to love and cling to a man. He made our bodies and therefore biologically we are meant to be attracted to the opposite gender. This also means that before this life we already had our genders and were either male or female. The world has become corrupt and has caused confusion in the lives of young people. Sometimes a child will act differently than what is expected and just because of differences in preferences they may be labelled as different, feel estranged and then look to those of their own gender for acceptance. When they continue to lack acceptance their desire for closeness may be corrupted into feelings of need for intimacy which may be misinterpreted and then acted upon as needs for intimacy. This can be caused also by the misuse of our bodies, feeling distant from parents of our gender or from pornography. Therefore people may feel confused as to why their bodies react a certain way (towards people of their own gender and believe that is how their body is meant to act) when in reality it has just been caused by situational or environments.
Finding the right person
When looking for a dating partner it is important to first focus on what qualities and attributes you are ultimately looking for. It is easy to get caught up in the moment of romance and disregard all desires that you have for a future spouse. But a key element in a happy marriage is finding someone compatible. The more similarities and interests you share the easier it will be to have an enjoyable marriage. If you are looking for certain good qualities in someone it is important to have those qualities as well. So that you will naturally be attracted to a good person if you are doing whats right. One way to find the person is to be social. Be in atmospheres that are uplifting and that you would want to find someone in. If you are friendly and nice this will give more people the opportunity to meet you. Also if there is someone who has similar high standards such as your own it’s also convenient. When you both have similar religious backgrounds it can also help. You want to be with someone that helps you be the best person you can be. That encourages you to do good. Also someone who respects you and cares for you as you are. You want to be your true self so that you can find someone right for you.
Adjustments in marriage
When you become married you need to realize that now your life is different than it will be before.  Usually at the time of marriage we are young single adults who are at the most selfish point of our life. Most of what we do is for ourselves, and many times it’s spontaneous. When we are married we need to realize that our spouse’s needs should come above our own. This may change the dynamics of our lives and how we are used to acting on a day to day basis. I just got married this last Saturday and it has been wonderful. What has especially made our marriage sweet is the amount of things we do for the benefit of each other. For example I have been very sick since the day after our wedding and he is completely going out of his way to help me feel better. This makes me feel loved and helps me know that he will always put me first just as I will put him first.
Faithfulness in marriage
Faithfulness in marriage is so crucial. Because in marriage you need to have complete trust in each other in order to feel fulfilled and feel at peace. This trust is built over time and is very strong through the years yet can be extremely fragile and difficult to rebuild if not impossible. That is why it is of upmost importance to be completely faithful in every way. I feel that many people joke about other relationships when they are dating, but I feel this starts off their relationship on an unsure foundation. It is important to build that trust from the very beginning. Faithfulness comes in many different forms. Automatically people assume it means in actions. But it can include so much more than this. Even the act of looking at another person and desiring them is being unfaithful to your spouse and can be detrimental in marriage. I believe the same comes from dwelling on past relationships as well as gawking at television stars. We want our spouse to know that our complete love and focus is o

Dealing with Crises
In times of crises there are many different difficulties that arise. This can come from tragedies such as the death of a loved one or from the loss of a job and continuous unemployment. There can also be crises that come from loss of a home, or difficulty in family or anything that disrupts a marriage such as divorce. When dealing with crises there are different reactions that people tend to have there is being in denial where you pretend to yourself and others that it hasn’t occurred. There is placing blame were you try to victimize someone and place fault in what has happened. Sometimes a coping mechanism is ignoring that something occurred until you can figure it out. I believe the best way to deal with a crises is to lean on your family members. I have noticed when I had a trial or crises in my life I have felt most secure when my husband (or fiancĂ© at the time) would support and comfort me.
Coming to a consensus not just a compromise
In marriage I believe it is important to work together to form an agreement of what is the most important thing to do. This is because in marriage there are two individuals who at times have two different opinions. Then when a situation comes up in which they have opposing views it can at times be difficult because both people have their own idea of how to handle it. Therefore its firstly important to include the Lord in your marriage so that he can help you make the correct decision. This can come through pondering over the issue together, expressing ideas or concerns, listening respectfully, praying beforehand and after for guidance and feelings of peace and then deciding together. In this way both people can feel right about the decision and will be strengthened together.
Father’s and their importance in the home
Fathers have a crucial importance in the home. They are able to provide and protect their families. Growing up I could always count on my dad to bring peace to the home as well. He really believed in the importance of teaching correct principles and letting us guide ourselves. Something else important about fathers is that they usually enjoy having fun with their kids. With my father we as a family went swimming, hiking, playing sports and other activities. He believed in the importance of family activities. He was also able to preside in the home and guide us in scripture study and prayers. It was really important having him set an example in the home. What else is really important is that they are a strong role model for boys which helps them build a secure attachment, as well as girls which help them know what to look for and expect in a future husband.
Active not reactive parenting
As a parent it is important to prepare to be a good parent. This means that you are preparing ahead of time to know how to teach your children. One way to do this is by making sure you and your spouse talk about the way in which you want to raise your kids. This will help you both to know the way that you will teach and discipline. By deciding ahead of time it will help you be prepared for difficulties or events that occur. That way you already know what to do in a certain situation. This means that you will have decided how to act beforehand in a peaceful setting instead of the heat of the moment. This will make sure that you treat your children in a positive good way.
Prevention of divorce

It is really important to make sure there is a strong communication in your marital relationship. This will help you both feel involved in each other’s lives which will continue to build your relationship. Strong communication can also help you both recognize the needs and wants of each other. When people talk about their deep feelings they learn to rely on each other and grow closer together. It is also important to be cautious against outside temptations and stresses against the marriage. This includes the importance of being completely faithful and honest with each other. In this way you will be able to build a strong sense of trust which can allow you both to be secure in your relationship. It is also useful of course to make sure that you look for the qualities in someone that you want in a future spouse. So that you do marry someone with similar views and therefore there will be less difficulties in marriage. It is also important to recognize that no one is perfect. Our temple sealer mentioned that we shouldn’t look for fault in each other. It is important to realize that through marriage you need to work to make it successful. As well as laugh along the way during your marriage. This will help keep peace in the home and help you to continue in happiness.

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