Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Faithfulness in Marriage

Being faithful in marriage is very crucial in having a happy fulfilling eternal marriage. To be faithful includes in thought as well as in action. Many times people believe that to be true in their marriage it simply means to avoid adultery but in reality it includes so much more. This also includes loving your spouse unconditionally, and being supportive and encouraging to them. Sometimes people have difficulties in their marriage and it causes them to want to complain idly to others. This is detrimental because a small issue can build up and seem like a large problem. Also if we are positive and supportive then our spouse should also feel this love and will be more likely to respond positively.
Its also so important to be supportive of our spouse. We should be our spouses best friend and number one support system. Sometimes it can be easy to get into the habit of focusing on ourselves and wanting our needs to be met. Yet in reality a marriage requires that both partners give 100% of themselves to each other, meaning that you would put the other person first. True love would include your desire that the other person's needs are met as well as helping them to feel loved and important.
One of the leaders of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints mentions that "We marry with the understanding that we will give ourselves completely to our spouse and that any divergence is sin. Infidelity is defined as the opposite of faithfulness. We show our faithfulness to God by loving him with all our heart, might, mind, and strength (Doctrine and Covenants 4:2- can be found online). We show fidelity to our spouse in the same ways."

We should love our spouse with all our hearts and treat them as such. As we are told that the first commandment is to love God and then to love our neighbor. We should put God first and then our spouse. They should feel of our love and our devotion at all times. The way we communicate with them should also demonstrate this love. This will build our relationship and as we are showing love and affection to each other this will diminish possibilities of infidelity which usually comes from the feelings of neglect.

Also infidelity isn't only physically, it is also emotional. This includes if people who are married begin to fantasize life with a different person, or if they flirt with someone other than their spouse. Even if it begins in the thoughts it is wrong because the "thought is the father of an act" as said by President Harold B. Lee.

The adversary (Satan) tries to trick us into thinking that an affair would be getting out of the normal routines of life. But in reality it is the opposite. We wont find joy or pleasure but instead experience bitterness and anger because of the guilt that will grow.

No matter the situation we should treat our spouses with love and respect, to help them feel loved and cherished. Meaning we should discuss with them situations, have honest and open communication and never be degrading. Also so we can grow our love we should be willing to forgive quickly and be understanding. Growing the relationship in your marriage will strengthen it so that when there are difficulties that you can turn to your spouse for comfort and love and not outwards.
Chamberlain, Gray, and Reid (2005) write, “Love works and lasts when those involved are committed to their relationship regardless of how they are feeling at the time.

Cohabiting before marriage also leads to higher likelihood of an affair when they are married. Therefore it is crucial to wait until marriage to demonstrate those intimate feelings of love.

The best way to avoid an affair is to prevent it. To take caution and to focus on strengthening the marriage.
"A wise father recounted this story to his sons: Once there were three men each trying to secure a job as a teamster (wagon driver). The freight company only wanted to have the very best drivers for their wagons, so they gave each potential driver a test. The test was to drive a wagon up a steep mountain road where one side of the road was a cliff. The first driver, eager to show his superior skills as a driver, drove the wagon up the road with the wheel of the wagon right on the edge of the cliff. The second driver was even more impressive; with great skill and dexterity he managed to drive the wagon up the road with half the wagon wheel teetering over the edge of the cliff! The third driver was not so talented and drove the wagon as far from the cliff as possible. Who got the job? The third driver, of course. With wagons as well as with marriages, the moral of the story is the same: If our cargo is truly precious (and it is), we will drive our wagon as far from the cliff as possible."

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