Thursday, June 25, 2015

Coming to a consensus not just a compromise

Communication is essential in marriage, yet there are ways of communicating that can be more beneficial than others. It is important to talk about your hopes and dreams, and be trusting with each other about your feelings and vulnerability. Communication is essential yet if you only talk about surface topics you will never be able to grow closer. It is also necessary to build trust between each other through deep and meaningful communication. Also when speaking with each other on a difficult topic it is essential to focus on showing love and care for the other person and being careful with your wording as well as your tone and non verbal communications. Most of what we communicate is emphasized through non- verbal communications as well as tone. Therefore it is important to be able to speak in a loving way and show that you truly care, instead of assuming that words will demonstrate your true emotions.

When discussing an issue it is important to strive to truly listen to what the other person is saying and being willing to focus on the issue and speak in a calm manner. Many time disagreements occur because of a miscommunication. Therefore when someone is speaking it is important to focus on understanding what they are saying.

There are many ways of listening, some are more effective than others. For instance if you are speaking with someone it is important to listen with real intent, be sympathetic, and not interrupt them. Sometimes it is really easy to want to offer solutions to every problem someone talks about. However in many cases someone doesn't want solutions, they merely need someone to truly listen and care about the difficulties they are having. A useful tool in communicating is to ask clarifying questions. This can help you understand what they are really trying to say as well as help them to feel that you really care.

When making a decision with your spouse, loved one or friend its important to truly come to a consensus. This means that you both feel good about the decision that has been made. The ways that you can do this is by having counsel meetings together at a time that is convenient for both of you.
1. Start off your meeting by expressing love and appreciation for each other
2. Pray to seek the counsel and assistance of the Lord, and to have the spirit with you so that you feel peace.
3. Discuss both of your feelings in a way that focuses on how you feel (never pointing out faults in what the other person did) example: If your spouse was late coming home instead of pointing out that they were late you can mention that you missed him, worried while he was gone and was relieved that he came home safely. This helps to express your true feelings, which were that you love him and want to spend time with him. Instead of trying to hide your feelings of missing him by showing anger.
4. Close with prayer
5. Have refreshments- this is an enjoyable way to recognize that discussing together is a way to build unity, and therefore can be an enjoyable experience.

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